• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.

  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.

  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.

  • Recent Posts

  • Recent Comments

    Brett Anderson on Another 90 minutes
    Another 90 minutes |… on T.W.I.M.C.
    Another 90 minutes |… on 90 Minutes
    whichendbites on Try saying……..inst…
    Diem Burden on Try saying……..inst…

  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.

  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius

  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.

  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.

  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

C.T.C.Constabulary.

The C.T.C. Constabulary is a  Strategic Community Diversity Partnership.
A Fictitious entity made up of 3 geographical and mythical divisions.
The City Division. The Town Division. The County Division.
We have that all encompassing entity know as…………HQ………… overseeing the Specialist Support Services Department that includes all of the other bits, from Crime Investigation to Bean Counting and performance monitoring department where all the important bits are kept.
There is a risk assessment and workplace injury reduction unit, professional standards and internal investigations unit as well as our state of the art high tech communications suite.
 
HQ has several car parks, some of them rather large. The tram lines of the tennis court clearly visible under the newly painted parking bays. Parking for the selected masses is important. If you have your own space you are truly special. The further away your parking place, the less status in the organisation you have. We have the obligatory and clearly marked disabled bays. No one should ever park in these. We mean it.
Our stores and general supplies unit is like a fortress. Appointments only and everything in triplicate on a totally one for one basis. Only. Ever.
We are working towards our vision. We have a mission to work towards our vision.
We have a clear vision of a citizen focused framework and a transparently safer community through strategic empowerment to meet the demands of modern and efficient Policing in the 21st Century.
We are working together with our partners to make our communities feel safe and be safe. We are working with you and for you. We want to try to get it right, first time and every time because we care.
Exactly what does this all mean ?   
I don’t fully understand but it does sound pretty good and that could be important.
If all else fails it is because we have made an honest error of judgement, made inadvertent mistakes and one of our partners has made an administrative oversight.  We must try to ensure that it can never happen again. 
Either way itis someone else’s fault. We have learnt from our mistakes and apologise, for everything.

5 Responses

  1. nightjack, on February 19, 2008 at 5:27 pm said:

    We are working harder than ever before
    =We have a lot more meetings and there are more of us

    in a multi agency innovative way
    =We are trying to get other parts of society to help us out

    for a clearer vision of a citizen focused framework
    = This is why there are more of us in more meetings. We don’t have a clue what you want. We are a bit afraid that its curfew all kids and banish dog poo forever

    and a transparently safer community
    = provable with carefully selected statistics

    through strategic empowerment to meet the demands of modern and efficient Policing in the 21st Century.
    = One mistake officer and you WILL be shafted

    We are moving forward and have a real momentum on the ground.
    = The local Ops Managers have swallowed the pill

    We have a real determination to make your community safe.
    = We have a real determination to make your community safe.

  2. Roses, on April 2, 2008 at 8:41 am said:

    We are working harder than ever before – we’ve attended more meetings than ever.

    in a multi agency innovative way – we’ve invited loads of other people to these meetings.

    for a clearer vision of a citizen focused framework – we even invited the general public to play with flip charts and post-its (the bastards kept eating our custard creams)

    and a transparently safer community – we will chase the nominals off the street corners for the photo-opportunity

    We are moving forward and have a real momentum on the ground – we’ve got loads of meetings planned, look how packed my diary is!

    We have a real determination to make your community safe. – because otherwise, I’ll have to eat the bickies by myself and there is a real risk I might have to do some proper work.

  3. 3 hour rule. « WHICHENDBITES, on July 16, 2008 at 10:38 am said:

    […] C.T.C.Constabulary. […]

  4. Putting on a show. « WHICHENDBITES, on July 23, 2008 at 9:21 am said:

    […] C.T.C.Constabulary. […]

Leave a comment