• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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    Brett Anderson on Another 90 minutes
    Another 90 minutes |… on T.W.I.M.C.
    Another 90 minutes |… on 90 Minutes
    whichendbites on Try saying……..inst…
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.
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Cool heads and kind hearts.

The cool heads in the cool air conditioned offices of the elite leadership team of the CTCC have made a serious decision.

They have considered all the facts, they are highly paid to make important decisions like this,they have to consider the public and corporate image negative impact strategy as well as the fact that the weather has got rather warm of late. Despite being well into the morning towards lunchtime.

Will the troops look the part and still give the correct and professional corporate image ?  What about those trendy designer sunglasses ?

OK then, they can take off their ties.

Great news.

For those who do not have the luxury of an air conditioned office or the comfort of an air conditioned car (when it is working) this is a small relief from the sticky and uncomfortable heat and an opportunity to remove the body armour for a while until the next call.

I feel sorry for the military in Iraq & Afghanistan where the wearing of life preserving equipment is essential and the temperature is considerably hotter.

Suddenly life doesn’t seem too bad.


Cats are like this…….

Education before incarceration.

To compliment and expand on the educational workshops where a driver who contravenes a red traffic light or is caught speeding can receive three hours of chit chat without the points added to their driving licence, the CTCC has come up with a great new engagement initiative to try to reduce the repeat instances of domestic harmony imbalance that require Policing intervention with the introduction of  community workshops instead of attending court to get bound over to be of good behaviour or a caution for a minor offence or have the allegation withdrawn and no proceedings take place despite the work involved in admin and preparation.

A fictional CTCC spokes person said, “Education before incarceration will be the way forward. The time saved by officers deployed for endless hours in custody units, taking statements that are later retracted as well as the saving in administrative hours incurred will allow for our officers to be better utilised by being deployed on other relevant and strategic targets or intelligence led operations and therefore making our communities safer” 

This should go someway towards raising the profile of the CTCC and widening the strategic involvement within the community.


Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two three hour sessions spread over two evenings on a weekday, a supper will be provided, as will instructions as how to take supper from its packaging without a woman to hold it for you.

Topics covered on this course include:


DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practising with hamper (pictures and graphics.)


REMOTE CONTROL Losing the remote – Helpline and support groups.

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down whilst shouting – Open forum.



REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST Real life testimonial from the one man who did.



HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques. Also a brief session on how to incorporate shopping and watching sport on the same day.

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class, NOT your secretary.

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counsellors available (male counsellors sadly unavailable-none passed training course.)

Good Nightjack.

It seems that the demise of the Nightjack blog has come to pass and the world of the Police blogosphere will be a sadder place as a result.

Thanks for the excellent writing and the insight into how at least part of your world turns.

Many of your regular readers will miss your literary offerings and I will join them in wishing you well, now that the Nightjack blog has gone into storage or retirement.

There was some good recognition for the Nightjack blog paid from various areas including  the Independent,BBC’s Paul Mason  and Iain Dale after Nightjack won the Orwell Prize, or perhaps I should say swooped in and seized the award.

No cigar.

Its raining, in fact its raining hard. I find it hard to believe that even the criminal classes could be out and about in this weather. They are, or so the latest crime intel statistics that roll out from the CTCC intel machinery show. The trouble is that they are, as is too often the case, sometimes weeks out of date. This is because the system of collection and duplication that relies on the efforts of those who already have too much to do, deem that the local intelligence on the relevant district get the first bite of the cherry. It is better to have it sent to the district concerned and disseminate out than sendit out to another intel unit and delay disseminate back into the district concerned. That should be common sense.

To justify their arses, the other intelligence units vie for strategic importance and hate the humiliation of being out of date and seeming to be out of touch. They may be able to bully the specialist support units into giving them first refusal but the bulk of the local stuff goes to the local office first. No amount of conference calls and morning prayers will change that.

My liaison is with district as my first port of call to get me the nod and following a chat with the night shift Inspector I find out what the spare response will be doing in the early hours if they are not committed when the rest of the world will be at home in bed.  

I think how it could be better if everyone worked together instead of trying to justify their little piece of colour within this bigger picture we seem to hear so much about. It is getting there but slowly and everyone seems to want their own little piece of recognition attached somewhere along the line thus complicating what should be a simple process. We are capable of working out where to direct our efforts when we are not responding to calls. 

With the local criminals being forced further afield by the targeted efforts of anyone who is uncommitted, along with the offer from the Inspector of a bottle of something warming to add a little extra incentive, we have pushed them from the small villages and towns around the metropolis back into the bright lights. This has been done over the past few weeks and our intel shows they have returned. The drip feed of this information to the other intel units allows them to operate in a different time dimension and when they prepare their intel for one of the meetings that will decide who is going to be told to do what, it is all to often out of date.

Despite the protestations coming from the intelligence unit that we are not shown as patrolling the right areas, we continue to target the right areas as the most recent information from district dictates.  To add to the already heavy burden of statistical form completion, there isalso talk of a dedicated hotline that we have to ring before we finish our duty so we can update those who sit at the comfort of their desk of what we have done and why, if needed, we have not followed their instructions as to where to patrol. I hope that CTCC don’t find the funding from somewhere for this.

An early morning milkman seemed to be awake enough to see some shadowy figures behaving in a manner that he considered to be suspicious and rings it in. The troops begin to make their way in time honoured silent approach that belies the stealth factors of diesel powered district response tactics. Due to what we think we collectively know, I get close and use the covert method of a six footed approach. My two having trouble keeping up with the pace of my four footed companion. 

A couple of streets and an underpass away I hear the audible sound on the target premises, call it in, increase my pace accompanied by some extra pulling power and hear the immediate sound of sirens that will reduce the time I need to get closer.

I arrive and begin my next stage. I have a track to where they left their vehicle. I recover their second mode of transport along with the essential tools of their trade.

We were close but not quite close enough for that big cigar.

Police more popular than Parliament.

Could it be true ?

The Constabulary are now more popular than parliament ?

Perhaps it could be the right time for another crackdown.

With the fallout continuing over the way the public have been outraged at the extent to which some MP’s have been abusing the spirit of their expenses and allowances there are some interesting suggestions as to how they should now be paid for necessary and essential expenses.  Despite the public anger there are still only a few admissions of abuses with the continual stream of ‘within the rules’ deflections from the real issues that concern those who abuse their position and act outside of the moral freedom they have awarded themselves over the years.

The usual line of arrogant grinning MP’s try to stay cool as though nothing has happened. The smug smile of defiance indicating that they are both untouchable and have all the right answers. Well not this time.

For accommodation there could be a block of small self contained flats, apartments or other economical and financially sustainable accommodation supplied to be available for those essential Government meetings when they deem it necessary to come out en-mass to be seen to be supporting the party line or to debate important public issues of the day. They would be able to stay there when they are forced to leave their constituencies for essential parliamentary business in London. This could change when video conferencing facilities are available to prevent all the unnecessary and expensive travel costs.

On the subject of travel costs, there could be an annual issue of free railcard, free national bus pass and free national coach travel card to assist with their travel around their constituencies and to London for parliamentary duties.

After a year of being forced to travel either at their own expense or by train, bus or coach networks, I would strongly suspect that there would be radical and speedy improvements to all three when they have experienced the delays, crowds and problems that most other people have to cope with who travel by these forms of transport because there is no affordable alternative.

Perhaps they will then represent their constituents as a priority and not spend most of the time at meetings or on various committees at meetings or travelling to and from various meetings following the party line. They could do a damn sight better instead of having two, three or more other jobs or consultancies to further remove them from their chosen and dedicated job representing their constituents instead of representing themselves.

In the mean time I hold little hope that anything will drastically change before the deflections towards other things that are deemed to be important enough to get the media and public anger off their tails.

Misplacing the responsibility of their office might come above how deserving they think they are and remind them of what the responsibility of their role as MP consists of. 

If they have acted within the rules, how come that so many of them are going ?  Could it be something to do with the generous tax-payer funded resettlement expenses they could be able to claim ?

After Jacqui fork-tongue has advocated making things within the Police financially sustainable, exactly how she looks in the mirror at herself is beyond me.  Perhaps she has no reflection and is unable to see the inner conscience. Selective memory loss as well as the most hypocritical double standards only add to the teflon attitude so many seemed to have.

Still the apologies and excuses roll out. Such a shame that our elected leaders have short and selective memories and think they are in a position where they are above having to explain themselves.

From Jacqui fork-tongue, Little Hazel Smiley and all the other devious freeloaders who have been exposed for how they have abused both the privileges of office and the British tax payer, it will soon be time when they call for all this to be forgotten so they can move forward and to get down to politics and  government.

Moving forward ? 

After duck islands and all the rest I suspect not quite yet.

When they count their crosses I suspect they might finally begin to understand exactly what some of them have done.  As yet, the local council and Euro MP allowances have not yet come into the firing line.

Perhaps we will get that vote on Europe that we were promised ?

I can feel a letter to my MP coming on.