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Never trust a teddy.

The PR crackled into life all of a sudden. The call was obviously urgent and any unit available was wanted to make for the edge of the Britannia Estate. The doctor’s surgery above the community centre had got unwanted visitors. They had been seen to climb across the roof before forcing a window and gaining entry.

As the eyes of the world watched from behind the safety of twitching curtains, the responders made their way, swiftly and as silently as a diesel police vehicle could possibly be. About half a mile away one of the intruders heard the distant diesel throb as it tried, unsuccessfully, to gain the element of surprise. After a shout, the spotter hurried out of the window, across the roof, dropped into the car park and was lost into the night. Egress from window onto the roof would be in the text on the crime.

It was possible the other did not hear the warning shout, nor heard the diesel throb as it got noisily ever closer. But closer it got until it was too late.

We were there. In all our good guy glory. One to the front, another towards the side with a good view across the car park. The dog support into the shadows at the back, by the edge of the roof to the window chosen by the intruders.

Keys are on the way, about 20 minutes. By this time we have bodies on the roof outside the window, we have containment and we have a dog ready to go in as soon as the keys have opened up and knocked off the alarm. The ringing noise of the alarm, despite the audible delay, has stopped but the ringing from being too close continues in my head.

We are in, the door is covered and my boy sets off in search of the quarry. In the same way that he would search out a tasty morsel for dinner, he begins his search, the hunt is on for the intruder.

Slowly and systematically, room by room, the building is knocked off. Closer to the far end of the building I follow. I have interest in a couple of places. We have success, we have some tools, a torch, a jacket, hat and gloves. We have the tools of the trade but, we want more. The urgency in the dog becomes heightened as he moves from corridor into room after room and then back again. He could be close.

In a room I begin to hear low gutteral growls followed by shaking and ragging of something that has clearly pissed the dog off. I move towards the sound, the growls and noises get louder. I enter the room and in my torchlight I see that my dog has got a really nasty offender. He must have threatened or kicked out at the dog and the dog has done his stuff. I call him back. He drops the suspect and returns. I see the pathetic, lifeless form of the suspect on the floor. His coat is torn but it seemed to be well-worn anyway.

I put the dog in the down and approach the suspect. I pick him up and replace him into the large box that contained all the rest of the cuddly toys in the child’s playbox in the waiting area. I will tell the key-holder about this later on. The other toys might need counselling having witnessed the savagery of the attack on their friend.

I carry on the search until I find what we really came for. Squashed under the sink base unit. I think he thought we had already found his mate. He was compliant and almost relieved to be under the supervision of response.

You can never trust a teddy.


5 Responses

  1. Brilliant. Been waiting for ages for one of these. Love the incidents and you write them so well.

  2. Don’t ever partake of the picnics, either. You never know what’s in those cookies they offer so innocently …

  3. “But at 6 o’clock the coppers are coming to take them all away,
    ’cause they’ve been naughty little teddy bears.”

    — Fred Wedlock “The teddy bears rave-up”

    (Sorry, couldn’t resist it.)


  4. Well, I was hoping that it would be a Clown, or at least a mime….

  5. Hey, My monster’s the same as I have on IG’s…!!

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