We have another new initiative at the CTCC. We at the support services department are going to be inundated with Sumo’s as part of the new leadership team’s effort to get us doing all that is right and proper, despite our leader’s pledge to rid us of this evil that is bureaucracy. They have taken the step to move us from teams into groups, to make us more effective. Our leaders are now the only ones in teams as this sounds far more corporate and strategic whilst the bottom dwellers have been moved into groups, or perhaps herded into groups.
We got Sumo’s.
Not a number of large and robust oriental wrestler types trying to force each other out of a small rope circle, but Ssu’MOS.
Or to give it the trendy name, Specialist Support Management Output Statistics…………… hence S-Su- M-O-S, shortened to SsUMOS.
We will have to record everything we do, keep a log on a weekly basis and submit monthly figures to our line supervisors, formerly Sergeants, by the 6th of the following month so it is available for the leadership team meeting. From there we can be identified as supporting the brand or as workshy, incompetent slackers. This new strategic method of recording will enable us to justify our existence, although some sceptics may say that it is another leadership tool that allows for the troops to managed by one person from behind one desk.
Effective and efficient for the leader but a damn sight more time consuming and inconvenient for those who will have to complete said statistical documentation. That is if there are enough computers terminals available to get the job done.
I dare say that the only wrestling taking place will be by the legions of personal assistants who will be grappling with the statistical data inputted for the benefit of the desktop leaders as they assemble their brigades for the next tactical period directives.
Don’t even mention trust and experience as it seems that we cannot be trusted to work some things out for ourselves.
From the data we will submit, for the benefit of someone else as usual, there is no account for the time it will take to complete these new, wonderful and totally auditable forms. We will be judged on what our leadership perceives to be their idea of core functions in an effort to be seen to be making us better performers in the target and statistics charts. Our perceived downtime will no longer be filled with things that only those who work with animals can understand, as we can apparently be far better utilised elsewhere in direct support of the far bigger plan.
We cannot evaluate our own best use of ‘non-committed’ time for directed patrols at the latest crime hot-spots, some training with our canine companions or district support and must now explain why we are not supporting the latest strategic tasking as allocated by one of the legion of intel analysts. Not only do we have to tell them what we are not doing, but also tell them why we are not doing it.
I feel the need for an Indian head massage coming on.
Perhaps we will follow suit and introduce these as well or we will invest the money in increasing our spin levels to promote the brand.
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