• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

Hammers and tea.

After arriving at work I transferred the boy from my car into the van. Nights have been too lazy to sweep out the dog hairs, again, so it seems. Perhaps they have been busy. They must have been busy. I go into the office to locate the mileage sheet to see who was responsible. Over 200 miles indicate the type of night that meant that my colleague on nights had been very busy all night and had not stopped, jo to job and more that one division needed their skills.

Before the back doors are closed the radio crackles into life. I am wanted already.

During the night, at the hospital close to the Britannia Estate, one of the many members of the special community hiding behind the shield of drugs/alcohol have had a misunderstanding with about a dozen windows which was rectified by the use of a large and imposing claw hammer. Security tried to intervene, but after the offer of some hammer threats, decided that observation from a safe distance a far more prudent course of action. They continued to monitor the frenzied attack and remained at a safe distance with due regards for the journey home to bed in the morning. Response had swiftly attended and were eagerly directed towards the flailing maniac, by-passing the mighty swings of the hammer wielding lunatic to request a bed & breakfast place on her maj and give a free taxi ride to dungeon towers.

A search had ensued during the shift, by torchlight, but with no success. The hammer could be vital evidence and it was definately lost during the struggle or thrown somewhere by the hammer maniac to avoid location.

All this was nearly 10 hours ago. Ten long hours, all night and the kettle must have surely boiled by now. I can almost taste the tea. It will have to wait.

I meet the response handover hostage from nights who is clearly very tired. It was indeed a very busy night. He gives me a brief SP and points me in the direction of the scene. Not that I can miss the row of smashed windows and the glass debris swept neatly into small piles along the base of the building wall. 

‘It started here and finished about over there somewhere’ he says. I know his bed beckons and he must have drawn the short straw to have to stay on to complete the necessary handover stuff.

After a quick walk to assess the scene and the all important wind direction, I set off with my boy at my side and begin to search all the obvious places. Nothing.

A change of plan assumes that the hammer might have been thrown so an increase in the search area begins and quite quickly it is obvious that my lad is onto something. Thick undergrowth does not normally bar his way but after getting him over the fence hidden within the mass of branches, he is off and with a few yards he hits the deck.

Within the cover of the heavy undergrowth is the handle of said hammer. A glint of glass dust along with the small amount of human scent remaining confirm the weapon of choice to the destruction.

After all that time…………the tea will taste nice, I just know it. The day has got off to a fantastic start.

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4 Responses

  1. Awesome. Well done mate.

  2. Ooooooooooo, Lush. That warm feeling inside. Good Lad.

  3. Oh great work!
    Perhaps they should multiply the number of furry friends by at least 200?
    Well done both of you!

  4. Just another of the many reasons why dog support is so important to the front line bobbies. I just hope there are enough bosses willing to see this and not bottle it and reduce dog sections due to “health and safety” (read payouts for scrotes who get through their own stupidity dogged) reasons. Well done mate.

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