• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.
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The Lost Message.

“Its not about targets” comes the message from on high at the CTC Constabulary. The Chief is a tad concerned about the wrong message being sent out. Quality is far more important than fixing the stats with quantity to look good. We care about what we do, it is important to get things done in a way that shows we care about how we serve the public.

The Chief is keen to stress that the trend to hit targets is not what we are about, apparently.

The message seems to have got a bit lost on the way down the food chain.

At the monthly senior officers group meetings, the performance & counting monitoring department are keen to identify those districts or departments who are not playing by the rules and adhering to the really big plan. So much so that the bean counters spreadsheet shows in all its glossy magnitude which of the three districts that make up the organisation is failing to hit the targets set for them by the helpful people keen to justify their own arses by dreaming up ever inventive and original things to measure. Over coffee and biscuits they discuss who is at the top of the pile and who is not. Who is not will get the proverbial kicking to let them know that big brother is watching…………..and counting. Counting on someone trying not to be at the bottom of the pile and therefore deemed to be failing.

To this end, the night shift Inspector from the County Division has finished a long and arduous night shift in which he has to deal with all his usual madness, reviews, cover for the neighbouring Town Division whose Inspector has changed his shift to allow him to attend some top level meetings the following day. He has also lost several buttons from his brand new shirt, he has torn his trousers and has had a sweat on, on more than one occasion. His is not a life of delegated ease but one of involvement, support and being there to help when he is needed. He has not forgotten the art of Policing.

The County Inspector is finishing his checks after ringing other stations before the night shift response went home to thank them for their support and updating the K.I.V folder for his morning handover to the morning relief Inspector when he gets a call from the deputy acting bean counting department Chief Inspector asking why his troops have not submitted a single Intel report or Stop & Search form for the whole of the night shift.  

What have they been doing all night?

Why are they not supporting the really big plan as directed?

Why was it that some officers were clearly seen without their hats on? 

How could they be recognised as Police Officers?

No mention of the handover prisoners from the previous late shift.

No mention of the numerous jobs they have been unable to deal with because of the high number of code A calls received during the shift as well as the carry over from the previous late shift. Last night needed some serious Policing Intervention activity.

No welfare enquiry of the officers injured during violent disorder and assaulted making several arrests.

No mention of the fact that no officer was able to have a refs break during their shift, again.

No mention that most of the shift are still writing handover packages for the early shift response team to finalize and deal with charging issues.  

But at least it is not all about targets and quantity.

How reassuring.


3 Responses

  1. Ohhh dear what have I let myself into in transfering to a HDPF. Ahhh well not in just yet still time to change my mind :-p NOT.

  2. Oh, Thanks! Really funny. keep working!

  3. […] it is deemed that we need to be told, yet again, of the aims of the really big plan, what the corporate message is that they are trying to get across and we need to know what our responsibilities […]

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