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Anti-crime incentives

At the CTCC, in partnership with other agencies and organisations, there is a new initiative to help cut crime and reduce the fear of crime in the community.

Modelled on the efforts to reduce smoking related illnesses from north of the border, here on the Britannia Estate efforts are under way to try to reduce crime by targeting the known criminals and offer them £50 of macdonalds vouchers a month is they promise not to commit any more offences of anti-social behaviour.

Local Insurance companies have formed a insurance clients cooperative and are actively recruiting the convicted burglars and asking them to sign an agreement not to commit dwelling burglaries for a period of one month as part of the pilot scheme that will pay them £100 per month to be followed by a further monitoring period of 3 months. If successful this can be extended for a full 6 months for a full evaluation.

Local shops and supermarkets have targeted the shoplifting fraternity to offer free, all out of date produce in exchange for not stealing from their establishment.

After the first two weeks of these innovative and radical strategies, the chair-person of the local ‘Look at me I am inventing stupid ideas to try to reduce crime and make our communities appear safe scheme’ policy group stated,  “these hair brained schemes are having absolutely no reduction in crime and the thieves are getting free stuff and free money.” 

One local resident of the Britannia Estate stated that they thought it was silly just giving money away to the criminals and thought they should get proper jobs like most other people. 

A source who wished to remain anonymous told us “This is like taking money from babies, I’d like to shake the twat by the hand who dreamed this one up. F+*:”*g great.”

Criminals, resident on the Britannia Estate, after being provided with the appropriate legal advice, have refused to comment.


One Response

  1. Most of the smack-heads will just view this as a “free” £50 and an extra incentive not to get caught thieving.

    Still what do you expect – the people that come up with these schemes have absolutely no grip on reality whatsoever….

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