• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
  • Recent Posts

  • Recent Comments

    Brett Anderson on Another 90 minutes
    Another 90 minutes |… on T.W.I.M.C.
    Another 90 minutes |… on 90 Minutes
    whichendbites on Try saying……..inst…
    Diem Burden on Try saying……..inst…
  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.
  • Advertisements

Top of the charts.

At CTC Constabulary specialist support Dept we have been subject to the usual messages over songs. There is a new arrival in the management song charts that only the management know, so they are teaching the troops the words so we can all sing along. We have posters displayed in prominent places, even on the noticeboards that were not asked for but have suddenly and mysteriously appeared.  These are in addition to the H&S, targets and performance pie charts and bar graphs that adorn most of the vacant wall space.

The management sing these songs bravely with a deep, yet optimistic hope that most of the operational lowlife will join in the singalong with equal gusto and committment or at least be seen to hum along to the tune. Top of the charts at the moment is  ‘another management anthem’.  This has replaced the lively ‘targets & statistics’ with the rather inspiring chorus by the portfolio one voice babbler quintet. The solo by the renown tenor (he who must be obeyed’arotti)  is particularly inspiring to the legions of the pip & crown choral society.

The problem is that as soon as we get to know the words the bloody song or the tune changes. We have been briefed about this and even have reminders of the essential verses we really should know incase we get asked to hum a few lines by one of the bosses.

The first verse goes along the lines of we are fighting the good fight lah de dah, we are in this together lah de dah with a fairly catchy chorus line about making things safer and better by far, working together lah de dar de dar and in the morning we will be seen to do our bit by you lar de dar de dar de dar.

The problem is that we just can’t seem to put aside our differences and each have our own songsheet in the name of harmony. It really would sound better and a lot more convincing if we were left to sing along with our own bits without all the interference. In whose harmony are we singing ?

Some may think that we really are all in this together whilst others think that the words to the songs are so fundamentally different. The main problem is that the songs are written in totally different languages. The words are written by those who have the ideas on how the song should be sung but are tone deaf and cannot begin to understand how it will sound. They also are not the ones who have to give the performance in public.

The top 5 consist of :

1. Another management anthem

2. Targets & Statistics.

3. All things NIM and beautiful.

4. Stop & Search in the name of love.

5. I detect a detectable detection (baby you can tick my box).

There are some late movers but the stats will not be in on time for the next strategic strategy meeting. So expect some serious questions to come the way of the Sergeants who appear to be having problems trying to learn the songs in both languages.


One Response

  1. I had to laugh at “Stop & Search in the name of love.” I always find your writings interesting, even if some of it is foreign to me. Those of us not in your line of work -learn as we go.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: