• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.
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Making Sense of Soundbites.

Meeting the demands of modern Policing.        Safer neighbourhood scheme.

Fit for purpose.     Multi-agency approach.   Taking ownership.  Tough on crime.

Key performance indicators.  Strategic empowerment.    Unity in Diversity.

Stakeholders.    Road-maps.      Person centred services.    Excellence for all. 

Benchmarking best practice.     Tactically aware.       Zero Tolerance.

Committed to making a long term contribution.        Particular issues.

Community cohesion.  Engage within the community.   Embed in the community.

Umpteen trendy catchphrases with the word ‘Vision’ included.

Getting it right first time.      Corporate image.    Increase in real terms.

The above are just some of the catchy and trendy buzz phrases that seem to appear in just about every message or mission statement or policy relating to a range of things from a department head, one of the many Force mission statements, a new way forward or the latest idea to promote the brand with an ever increasing list of things we are trying to do to satisfy a perceived demand or generate momentum in the career development stakes.

Are words really important and exactly what do they mean ?

We appear to be overburdened with an endless list of descriptive terminology that sounds all bright, shiny and decisive but means something else.   Even worse, if your boss asks you about the newly identified trendy name for something dreamed up in one of the many, and obviously vital, management meetings and you don’t know what it means, you are somehow castigated as not having your finger on the pulse and negligent in your application to duty.

“Within the strategic framework we are missing on our key performance indicators.”

What exactly does that mean ?

We are following like lambs to the slaughter, the political nuances where word speak is replacing action speak  yet trying to create the illusion that it-is all somehow better.

Public spending now exists but in a different and much better guise as ‘investment’.

When you mess up, you now ‘take things on board’ and ‘learn lessons’ from things without actually doing anything about it because only you ‘understand the bigger picture’.

How many of you have been shafted but fail to see the ‘clear and obvious benefits for the organisation’. It appears that some can be treated one way yet others can be treated differently, because of this.

Word speak seems to withdraw the need for clear explanation and responsibility within the organisation framework that is constantly seeking you to deliver more, without the adequate support and understanding you deserve because the politically correct overtones must be seen to be being made and enforced. There will be very nice sounding phraseology associated with this as well.

Sadly, as a result, there are winners and losers. All too often the losers are the ones who keep their mouths shut and get on with it or those who are the easiest targets to keep the perceived minorities happy.  A very big thanks must go to our political masters, those who follow their whims and those who are too weak to challenge for creating this working environment. Bravo.

Now we are all singing from the same song-sheet.   Fantastic.

Mine appears to be written in a language I cannot understand, I’ll just hum along then.


9 Responses

  1. And don’t forget, if you take issue with any of the buzzword-bingo bullshit you’re “Negative” or “resistant to change”.

    I’ve only been in five years and I can honestly say I’ve seen incredible amounts of change. Sadly, I’ve yet to witness any *progress* .

  2. It’s crap. No two ways about it.

  3. you forget “stakeholder”. Every bleeding thing is done in conjunction, or even better “partnership” with a “stakeholder”. You can’t say a sentence in senior management without including somewhere in the sentence “community” and then either “impact” or “engagement”, depending on the subject of the sentence.

  4. It’s sad, but even over hear in good ol norn ireland I can see us marching steepidy towards the cliff our english friends have been pulled over. Soon my area gets to trial community support officers, (who can’t go out on their own!) and armed response teams. Why we need armed repsonse teams when we all carry firearms has never been expalianed apart from a persistant rumour that the Chief Con wants to disam us. Since a colleague was shot in the back only three months ago I think it is time for my arse to find a chair to shine and start killing some trees!

  5. With all the catchphrases it is very easy to write a mission statement that tells you SFA. Now I know why Policemen and women can’t get on with the job of policing the community.

    We must have a vision for the future of meeting the demands of modern policing. To realise the vision for a safer neighbourhood scheme we need to do some serious Blue Sky thinking. We will need to address particular issues and this will need a multi-agency approach that will be fit for purpose and take ownership and unity in diversity in this vision of strategic empowerment to be tough on crime.

    As Stakeholders in community cohesion and person centered services, our vision must be seen to be getting it right first time and be seen to engage within the community. The vision for our future is to bring the corporate image to the forefront and have it embedded in the community. We must remember to be tactically aware and allow zero tolerance with any diversion from the road-map we have set out and increase in real terms our person centered services. The key performance indicators must be our commitment to making a long term contribution and benchmarking best practice for excellence for all.

  6. Aaaahhhhhhh.

    Resistant to change, that old nutmeg. How reassuring, especially for all you stakeholders out there working in partnership with something or someone.

    Kendl………You seem to be aware of far too many of the ‘popular’ words and phrases. You need to get out more, I am worried about you.

    RUC—– nice to have someone else from across the water.

  7. Ah, soundbites. A couple of years ago, there was a series of articles in the Surrey Police newspaper ‘Off Beat’ written by a serving officer about a ‘PC Polkins’ who engaged in conversations with various people identifying and mocking various Police policies and procedures. One article consisted of a conversation with a senior officer using nothing but soundbites. When you really read it, nothing was actually said by either party. The point is that the only ones who mentioned it being an interesting article were all of the rank of Inspector or above while everyone else just asked “What the hell was that about?” A number of senior officers did identify the mockery in the article and voiced their annoyance at the hapless officer. Still, It seems nothing changes.

  8. There was a similar discussion on the architects’ forum recently – try ‘blue skies thinking’ and ‘delivering sustainable architecture’ and ‘dynamic young architect delivering top-end projects 24/7’ and ‘health and safety gone mad’ (yawn – never heard that before) and ‘predictors of beaconicity’ (What!?)

    The whole world of business is infected with the gobbledegook virus. Unfortunately, there seems to be no cure, yet.

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