• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

Frontrow seats.

Dave has had a bit of a fall out with his dad. Dave is 18 years old and in common with a lot of other 18 year olds knows an awful lot about everything. He has come home on a Saturday evening, just as it is getting dark, after spending most of the day drinking with his mates. He also seems to know a lot more when he has been drinking with his mates. He hasn’t done what he was asked to do and to make matters worse, when he was ‘reprimanded’ by father could not his mouth shut. The row that followed escalated into the familiar slanging match where well intentioned but misguided insults were batted to and fro like the best baseline rally you could wish to see.

The result……………….neither side wanted to back down, Dave because he was being spoken to like he was some form of idiot and was treated without respect, Dad because his son had crossed the line yet again being abusive, very disrespectful and threatening. Dave’s Dad had just about enough and was pushed to the point of getting hold of his son to shake some sense into him.

The result…………the argument escalates into a full blown wrestling match accompanied by the screams of onlookers and moves from inside the house, through the patio doors into the garden and the neighbourhood are treated to WWF slam-down with free front row seats.

Dave is starting to lose so decides to even things up with the aid of a baseball bat. He is intent on taking on all-comers. The neighbours from row 4B have called the Police and in the distance the reassuring sound of the referee’s two tone bell is heard and everything should begin to calm down. The sounds get closer and suddenly the front row windows in the surrounding theatre get the wrath of the very angry 18 year old as he practices his swing for the first strike. The spectators sudden excitement gained by someone else’s life in the spotlight remains interesting but they hope it will not be their windows that need replacing. Yet still they cannot quite break away from the excitement.

The result……………..the first Police response arrives. A single crewed unit on the way back into the station to go home. After an update and the sensible request for some cavalry, two more single crewed units arrived having dropped what they were doing to back up their colleague. Dave is now alone in the garden with his anger and his wooden friend. His wooden friend hisses angrily as he gets to sample the swoosh of the air as it quickly passes by it. The first one into the garden is ‘goin to ave sum’.

The result……………with no shield unit available the Dog Handler is requested and promptly arrives to assess the scene and enters the garden via stage left as the baseball bat is experiencing air turbulence close to the wall. ‘F+*# off or you’ll ave some copper, if you sets one foot in this garden you’re gonna ave it’

‘I am a Police Dog handler, I am in your garden. If you don’t put that bat down now I will come back with my dog and you will be bitten. This will hurt and you are likely to end up in hospital and be arrested. Do you understand ?’

‘Get yer f#+*in dog, cum on then you scum I’ll ave you both’

He is either deaf or likes a challenge. I return to my van to get out my friend. Should we go away ? No we are the Police, we deal with stuff like this. We return to the garden to find the batman again practising his swing. I am aware that the odds are now in my favour.

I begin to shout a warning to let all the witnesses in the windows of the front row know exactly who is the one with the dog, who is the one swinging the bat and what will happen if the bat is not put down immediately. My friend tells him this but in dog language. He appears to be offended by the manner and rudeness of this 18 year old. I pull my dog back, unclip the lead and grab hold of his collar. The 18 year old suddenly crashes to the ground dropping the bat whilst doing so. ‘Don’t hurt me I’ll do anything you say’.

I approach tell him to lie on his front and kick the bat away. I call in the troops who are by the gate behind some shields. He is handcuffed and led away sobbing and the onlookers begin to cheer loudly. They have had to put up with this on a regular basis.

I am pleased to have been of help and pleased that my friend has been positive again. We have avoided anyone being injured. Lots of people wonder whether they bite. We know they do, we know this is painful, we tell them this and most of them do not want to really find out.

More importantly I have enhanced our reputation with response and feel sure they will think about us and call us to help again. Also, I have that positive feeling that it has been another good day. I will enjoy it as it might not be the same tomorrow.

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6 Responses

  1. Nice one. It’s great when the sharp end is looming closer and the cold hard reality sinks in. Kepp up the good work, both of you.

  2. Oops, that will be ‘keep’ then, won’t it.

  3. I think I like your friend.

    I am also quite glad he is on ‘our side’

    Give him a biccie from me

  4. ha ha ha “My friend tells him this in Dog language”. Makes no logical sense at all but everyone understands perfectly! Ha still making me laugh…. I do find myself somehow disappointed he bottled it. As I think your friend might have too….

  5. Top job all around.
    Too much paperwork these days if your friend gets a chance to ‘make contact’ with some violent idiot.

  6. I loved this comment “the sharp end is looming closer and the cold hard reality sinks in.”

    I think it’s interesting that people seem to fear the dogs more than they do the humans. I’m glad that it ended successfully. Dogs love a job to do. He was lucky.

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