• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

Priceless.

You have to be a bit careful if you nick someone on a weekend.

Billy Bob the burgling bandit got himself lifted and enjoyed B & B on the Queen. Free room and board, no charge.  Being a naughty boy, a small but necessary series of charges that took away his liberty for the weekend, until he got himself released, as usual on Monday morning. Probably to continue with his illegal activities that included unconsented visits to a variety of abodes around the neighbourhood.

Trouble is, when Billy Bob received his weekend board & lodgings, the little matter of his canine friend was not really considered. So four legs accompanied two legs for a weekend break behind bars.

Now Billy Bob saw the divine light and played by the rules. Billy Bob’s four legged friend never because Billy Bob has his four legged friend as an accomplice and together they form the gang of two. Billy Bob hasn’t got the guts to fight with blokes so he picks on women and uses his four legged gang member to reak havoc when he can.

Add to this some misplaced human sentiment in the guise of one officer who thinks that Billy Bob’s four legged friend should be taken out for a walkies as he has been cooped up in the kennel in the rear yard for a while and then you end up with a problem. Suddenly Billy Bob is still locked up but his four legged associate is not. Efforts to try to reincarcerate fail and then there is a problem. Do we leave one officer in the yard with the beast ? If we do, for how long ?

What are the potential solutions ?

Leave said officer in yard with four legged companion ? No, the officer has to go home at some stage, also fido is not very friendly. Officer’s partner would probably not welcome the new companion. They may even already have a companion pet of their own in the household. 

Let it go ?  Not really. It would be convenient but itis not ours to give it freedom of this kind.

Take it to the pound ? No. The pound is closed. After all, itis the weekend and none of our support agencies, that we are likely to need, are available at the weekend.

Get a vet in to sedate it ? No. This is likely to cost money and then the thing has to be monitored, similar to drunks in cells, for their welfare you understand.

Call a Dog Handler ? This appears to tick all the boxes, it won’t cost anything and someone else can be bitten instead.

After about an hour & a half, said dog handler arrives. Long way to travel. Well intentioned but essentially foolish officer is still in rear yard, in the rain, with Billy Bob’s dog. Officer is wet. Dog is wet. Officer is still very alert and paying respectful attention to dog.

Dog handler approaches to get an update, assess situation and complete risk assessment.

This needs two of us but there is only one available, me. I do not want to get bitten. That is the sum of my risk assessment. I have to approach the end that possesses the dentistry. There are a lot ot teeth, very angry teeth. The kind of large teeth that go with a large angry dog. These teeth are not directed towards the well intentioned but essentially foolish officer but towards me. The officer is aware of this fact and appears slightly relieved but still displays the look of worried concern.

Yet another instance where risk assessment goes out of the window because itis completely impractical and only applies in the minds of those with the benefits of hindsight spectacles and want to cover their arses or those who use it as a way to get out of doing something to help. I know we shouldn’t do it but we do, all the time, because if we didn’t the job would not get done.

With the aid of the dog catcher, swift reflexes and bit of canine understanding, fido enjoyed the rest of the weekend’s incarceration in the safe isolation of the kennel.   I am able to repair the dog catcher and go off rejoicing, relieved in the knowledge that I was able to avoid pain, help my response colleagues and continue to have the respect of them and their skippers for the help I give them. I cannot put a price on this, itis priceless.

I know this, they know this, but the people who should value this relationship we have do not care one bit that this relationship between us exists. That makes me sad.

If there was something that had happened that could be measured then they would be happy about this. They would know about this and rejoice together. As it stands, they never knew the events took place.

We did, and that makes me happy.

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2 Responses

  1. Its yet another example of what your tagline on the old blog was. Not all that can be measured counts, not all that counts can be measured.

  2. You could have tried a few squibs. Worked on my friend.

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