Of course you do!

I have been:

a marriage guidance counselor

an  acting veterinary nurse,

a teacher,

a babysitter,

I’ve listened to advice from knowledgeable and experienced people,

I’ve also listened to advice from idiots and people who do not have a clue what they are talking about,

I’ve been an odd job man,

a translator,

a wrestler,

a boxer,

a fight referee,

a vehicle repair engineer,

a traffic controller,

a dog catcher,

a nightclub doorman,

a member of the sprint detention team,

a person who delivers unfortunate and unwanted bad news,

a person who sometimes delivers good news,

I have entered with a key, without a key through an open door and sometimes kicked or forced that door that prevents entry, 

a writer of fact,

a listener of fiction,

I have been a cook,

an arbitrary decision maker,

a companion,

I have not told lies to cover someone else’s arse,

I have been a friend,

a plan or map drawer,

a walking encyclopedia,

I have seen over-promotion for strategic credibility instead of policing credibility,

I have seen countless guidelines and recommendations ignored because it suits someone else’s agenda,

I have been a good Samaritan,

a walking street-map,

a local information centre,

a medic,

an emergency plumber,

I have been spat at, punched, kicked, head butted, verbally abused, had things thrown at me or been threatened with a bladed instrument ( formerly a knife), 

I have seen many fine officers frustrated by those who appear to have forgotten that they were once a 24/7 police officer.

I have been a taxi-driver,

an unwanted guest,

a welcome guest,

a listening ear,

a mind reader,

I have walked many a whole night shift in the freezing night air, in the pouring rain or in the humid, sweltering muggy heat dressed in a uniform that was not suited to allow me to do some of the things I expected to come across, I have still met my supervisor when and where I was expected despite having jobs on the go, I wore a cape regularly until I spent more time in cars,

I have been a surrogate and temporary parent,

I have been someone’s worst nightmare,

I have been someone’s saviour,

I have seen someone take their first breath as well as their last breath,

I have been a one man cordon,

I have experienced only a handful of very good senior officers,

I have been one of a small group against a far larger group,

I have been very, very, very patient, tolerant & understanding,

I have been considerate, restrained and hidden my true feelings,

I have been accused of being a liar,

I have failed to save a life,

I have seen and smelt death,

I have comforted and reassured,

I have always learnt from what I have done,

I have been an emergency fireman,

I have been the last person someone wanted to see as well as the first,

I have been told I am a Police officer first and a dog handler second  (yes being bitten hurts),

I have been loved, hated, admired and despised in varying amounts.

I have always tried my best,

I understand that those who police and those who manage/lead are fundamentally different because of the roles they do,

I have gone home at the end of my shift because my dog (s), have been there with me,

I have been scared for my own safety,

I have acted without fear for my own safety but to protect others who are in fear themselves,

I have always been judged by those who do not do the same job, take the same risks or work under the same accountability as I,

I have listened to countless politicians talk about how they want to improve my role, how they need to show how I am accountable and how they want to make my job easier,

I have protected life and property,

I have the respect of my peers,

I have listened to countless senior management talk about how they are improving my role only for them to move on and the next in line change things to support their own career aims and not to support or complement the work done by their predecessor,

I have wasted far too much of my time and effort completing statistical information for other people to justify their own position or to show how well they are managing what I do, yet none of these people know me,

I have listened to countless senior management talk about how they are improving my role only for them to move on and the next in line change things to support their own career aims and not to support or complement the work done by their predecessor,

I have wasted far too much of my time and effort completing statistical information for other people to justify their own position or to show how well they are managing what I do, yet none of these people know me,

I have repeated the last two things because they have  probably had the most negative effect on me during my service.

I have learned about tolerance, compassion, that there are a lot of nice people out there but still some people who have no social conscience and will burgle your house or even kill someone and not care one bit about doing so,

I have seen the victim not see justice all too often,

I have seen colleagues fail to get the recognition they deserve,

I have seen repeat offenders not get custodial sentences,

I have seen Policing become a brand to be promoted at every available opportunity, some of them totally inappropriate.

I have experienced poor vehicles because they are cheaper,

I have been subject to mileage restrictions because of targets,

I have been advised because I have not reported enough people or submitted enough admin for people to measure,

I have experienced death in many forms, from violent, unexpected and unpleasant to peaceful, calm and dignified,

I have led a varied and rewarding career.

I am a police officer.

But I am a dog handler first. I did not join to become a sergeant, Inspector or above. I joined because I wanted to become a dog handler.

It is not a game or a fair weather trend…………..It’s for keeps.

How many can say that ?

Goodbye.

I checked, I read, in total disbelief.

Hayley Adamson, 16,  was killed when a speeding patrol car with no blue light or sirens on smashed into her in May 2008. The driver  was jailed for three years after being convicted of driving at  94 mph moments before the late-night tragedy.  Northumbria Police put itself forward for a public relations honour for its handling of the media following the tragedy.

Hayley’s mother Yvonne Adamson, branded the move as ‘sick’.  Mrs Adamson said:  “It’s a complete joke. I can’t believe they have nominated themselves for the award.  ‘What about all the complaints that were put in against them when it happened?  ‘Life is truly hell. This is an insult to her memory. Tomorrow would have been Hayley’s 18th birthday. ‘It’s just a massive shock. It couldn’t have come at a worse time for the family.”

Sue Sim, Deputy Chief Constable of the force, apologised to the family: “This award was not intended in any way to minimise the impact of Hayley’s death on family and friends and we are truly sorry if it has been perceived as such. Our deepest sympathies remain with them.”

There must surely be some  truth in the reporting and not just the glorification of another sensational headline. Even this must make many officers with a hint of conscience feel very uncomfortable that some form of positive spin to promote the brand comes at the expense of such a tragic set of circumstances.

This beggars belief that someone, somewhere, could consider such a choice. 

Undermining public confidence…………..Gadget was spot on.

As is the trend, when we show that we can operate within the new, tighter fiscal constraints it will be accepted that this will be the norm and the relevant mouth-pieces will claim how much more efficient and affordable Policing has become under their watch. Target achieving bonuses could be the order of the day.

The CTCC will start by stopping recruitment to give an early boost to the projected efficiency figures. Reduction in fleet and fleet maintenance could help offer more to the coffers and consideration to the removal of the PCSO scheme provides a huge savings. With less PCSO’s out there there will be less need for Police officers to sort out the mess and deal with whatever can’t be dealt with straight away. In the long run this will be cheaper than all that extra training and just think about what could be done with those extra vehicles.

As many skilled, dedicated  and experienced officers retire from CID, traffic, specialist support units, dogs sections, etc etc etc and are not replaced or continue with lesser numbers to limit the damage done to response teams, the real issues over how we deal with core response and specialist support response business will raise their heads and the political statements will be made to claim how much better everything is.

Every facet of the service delivery has been measured by the CTCC and its leadership legions, converted into whatever is the current in-vogue of business case comparisons that allow the time and motion multipliers or the business models to evaluate performance figures and show what is worthy of selection to score the most short-term political gain and the most positive headlines.

All this against the latest list of crackdowns that are promoted at every short-term headline generated problem. All this against the constant illusion the is portrayed that everything is somehow alright. All this against the never-ending workload that continues 24/7 to overpower the reducing numbers of officers available to keep the ship afloat. All this against the backdrop of layers of accountability and micro-management by people who really should know better and have long since forgotten how difficult the job can be on occasions.  

Add all this and multiply into the public sector pot of education, medication, incarceration and local council services and there will be trouble ahead.  The layers of corporate accountability will continue to make positive noises as if nothing has happened and everything is under control.  No dancing,  no moonlight or time for romance.  Just who will face the music will probably be those at the bottom of the food chain because they are the ones who get put firmly in the limelight by those who manage and administrate.

On a wider point, for all this financial mess that no-one appears to have become accountable for (despite government claims of transparency and accountability) yet almost everyone will suffer by. The road network which appears to be totally under maintained in far too many places despite the amounts of money collected by car tax and tax on petrol. Where has  all our money gone ?  I suppose that something must support those non-contributers and scroungers who are supported care of the benefits  system. 

Come to think of it, just about everything is taxed, including motoring and fuel. What is not will soon be under the keen telescopic sight of whichever colour claims to have the electoral mandate.

 Cambridgeshire is the latest force to launch a “dog blog” on its website – others have been produced by Tayside and Avon and Somerset.  Staff say the diary is popular and promotes the work of police dogs.  But the TaxPayers’ Alliance says the blogs are “PR exercises” with no public benefit.

 ”All the time we hear that police forces overstretched and officers have too much paperwork,” said a spokesman. “Yet someone seems to have enough time to write hundreds of words about the life of a dog?”  Chief executive Matthew Elliott added: “This might be a well-intentioned idea but it is a waste of money. “Either the dog’s handler or a press officer are evidently devoting their time to writing this blog at taxpayers’ expense and to no real benefit for public safety.  ”People pay their taxes for the police to go out and catch criminals, not for cutesy PR exercises.”

Cambridgeshire police said the blog gave the public an “insight” into the work of police dogs.  “The dog’s blog has proved to be extremely popular with the public and received more than 700 visitors in its first week,” said a spokeswoman.  ”We have also had several emails from the public asking Lukas questions about his role and saying how much they like the blog.  “Police dogs play a vital role in protecting the public and officers and the purpose of the blog is to give people an insight into that work.  “The blog costs nothing to produce and is written by the corporate communications team, whose role it is to promote the work of the force.”

In the blog German Shepherd puppy Lukas “tells” readers: “I’m … lucky enough to have my two big brothers Yeoman and George in their kennels either side of me. They’re police dogs at the moment, and they’re always telling me about what they get up to, so I can’t wait to see if I’m lucky enough to be able to become a proper police dog.”

At the CTCC we are fortunate enough to have this, but this has been shelved to save money, help make our communities safer and to bring offenders to justice.

Even I am impressed.

My Council Tax demand for 2010 has just dropped on the mat. £1769.90. Payable in advance.

Now, as regular readers will know, I am a Freeman on the Land. Which means I don’t pay demands. I pay for contracted services I am happy to receive. So let’s break down my bill and see what I agree to pay as a Libertarian.

Essex County Council £1328.25
Essex Police £161.48
Essex Fire Authority £81.18
Braintree District Council £198.99

Fire Service? Yup, happy to pay that amount. I’ll sign up for that
Police? No one else offers the same service for that price. I’ll sign

Now it gets to be fun.

Essex County Council. Total Revenue £2.1 Billion, of which I am forced to pay £1328.25

How do they spend that money?

Well, we have:

Education £994M (47%)
Putting the customer first £55M (2%)
Improving Transport £106M (5%)
Supporting Vulnerable People £696M (33%)
Waste and Recycling £52M (2%)
Making Communities Safer £49M (2%)
Operating costs £228M (11%)

Braintree District Council. Budget £19.4M. My contribution?£198.99

Waste and Recycling 22% (£4.3M)
Street Cleaning 6% (£1.2M)
Leisure & Culture 25% (£4.9M)
Safety 11% (£2.2M)
Planning 5% (£1.2M)
Housing Benefits 8% (£1.6M)
Parking 4% (£o.8M)
Democracy 9% (£1.7M)
Parish Grants 4% (£0.7M)
Other 4% (£0.8M)

Dear Town Clerk (no, you are not a CEO)

I refer to your offer to provide services to me for £1769.90. After a quick look through, I’m happy to pay for education, the Police, the Fire service. I’ll look after the rest thanks.

Could you please recalculate my bill to reflect this? I reckon it should be around £624 for education, plus the old Bill and the Fireman rounds it up to £866.82. Not £1769.90. As you are aware, unsolicited demands against unwanted services are unlawful. The plumber’s not allowed to do it, nor is Sky TV. Send me the contract (as required by law) and I’ll sign it.

Cheers

Old Holborn