• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

Reduction in hot air.

As the financial noose gets ever tightened by the people who count and measure things at the CTCC, the cuts are spreading and the efficiency savings being made add a few extra quid into the funds for more essential and important things.

The counters might have saved enough money to hit their own targets and offer the hand of financial support to their chosen friends in the right places.

As various departments within the organisation struggle to hit budget targets, as well as all the other targets of things that are measured, the wonderment of essential spending investment continues.

At the newly refurbished and well appointed Robert Peel House, the daily grind of the ESSO minions have raised an issue of no chips available for dinner.

An investigation appears to have shown that the extractor system is not up to the job of sucking out all the hot air over the chip pans so the chips will remain off the menu unless an ‘investment’ is made towards a new air extraction system upgrade.

About £50,000 should just about cover it.

Great news if you like chips.

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5 Responses

  1. £50,000? Seriously? That’s more than I paid for my house (a bloody long time ago, admittedly).

    Can I point them in the direction of B&Q? They sell extractor fans much cheaper than that! Or maybe just open a window?

    Sorry, there I go, suggesting simple solutions to simple problems again. I really ought to know better by this age.

  2. Oven chips – (and possibly an extra oven) could work out cheaper

  3. Perhaps boiling a few bean counters may help?

  4. Possibly the kitchenhoods have been overloaded with ‘hot air’ by cross-connection with the ventilation in the senior management sute?

  5. Baked spuds are healthier than chips

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