• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

4 X 4 X 4 X 4

With the recent changes in the weather for the worse, the CTCC has implemented the 4 X 4 strategy to allow for our continued efforts to keep the streets safe and make the populace feel safe as well as try to ensure that we hit our targets for attending incidents that are deemed to require Policing intervention.

The Force’s fleet of 4×4 vehicles quickly ran out so the local hire establishments were visited with a view to getting more of the Constabulary mobile in response to whatever the world could throw at us.

Not exactly Noah, the Ark and 2 X 2 but I’m sure you understand. As the blizzards did their blizzarding the roads became more impassable by the hour and countless Police vehicle became stuck, lost or otherwise undriveable and the trusty plan swung into action to rescue countless officers and their marooned vehicles.

The advice for people to stay at home clearly does not apply to ordinary Policing safety logic and the neighbourhoods still need our intervention.

It quickly dawned that all was not going according to the big plan as none of the 4 X 4 X 4 X 4 fleet had been equipped with suitable towing equipment so vehicles had to be abandoned to the elements as everything turned base bound unless there was a real emergency.

Needless to say the supply of  suitable vehicles was maintained at HQ for those deemed vitally essential to implementation of the plan and those fortunate enough to own one of the substantial 4 X 4 X 4 vehicles quickly become part of the Constabulary Taxi Team.

We are planning for next contingency or emergency well in advance and making purchases of inflatable boats for when the next floods come.

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5 Responses

  1. How about hovercraft?

  2. It’s only weather!

  3. Some form of dog sled perhaps? I understand they’re very popular in snowbound countries. *<:)

    “Mush landsharks! Mush!”

  4. The 4×4 Bimbo and Nobborati around here think 4WD = I can still drive around like a prick on wheels whilst nattering to Woopert on the mobile. Don’t seem to twig that their Chelsea tractors (or Sloane Rangers) still have standard bloody tyres.

  5. Hogday:

    “Twice the traction, same brakes…”
    A muppet is still a muppet, whatever they are driving.

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