• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

Women V’s Dogs

1.The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog’s parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you may have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re always ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

8. Dogs like to go fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. You can even sell one or two if you want to.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.

13. A fun day out for a dog is a day in a field chasing a ball, every day.

14. Dogs are ready to go out after a quick scratch and a shake and do not need to check themselves 7 times in the mirror to see how they look.

And last, but not least:

15. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff, scratch you car bodywork or cut up most of your clothes.

If you really want to know who loves you more, put your wife & your dog in the boot of the car for ½ an hour and see who’s happy to see you when you let ‘em out!

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9 Responses

  1. OOhhh, that’s a bit cruel at the end, ain’t it?
    I know what you mean though about dogs, or any animals for that matter, they will forgive you anything.
    They don’t even think about it.

  2. oooeeer,i hope this post isnt a personal reflexion on you “season of goodwill”family xmas.

  3. oops cant spell now either,

  4. I dare you to eat a dog’s breakfast, though.

  5. :-D seen the last one but not the first 15. My dog is more interested in how my shoes smell ( the stinkier the better) than how many animal smells l have on me though.

  6. 16. A dog will always be enthusiastic about licking tiramisu off your scrotum…

  7. 17. If you give a dog proper instructions, it will do as it’s told.

  8. I emailed the above to the wife her reply was:

    Men v. Dogs

    1. Dogs are tireless in their efforts to please.

    2. Dogs are more than happy to lick their own dicks – no suggestion anyone else has to do it?

    3. Dogs are happy to eat the same easy to prepare meals 7 days a week – no cooking, no washing up.

    4.Dogs don’t lie on the sofa and demand cups of coffee all night.

    5. Dogs don’t seem proud of their smelly dumps and farts, nor do they describe them in great detail.

    6. Dogs are always in a GOOD MOOD.

    7. If you really want to know who loves you more, put your bloke & your dog outside a clothes shop while you spend 2 hours blowing all the housekeeping on fab new outfits and flowery wellies and see who’s happy to see you when you’re finished!

    My reply to her was…

    Love you xxx

  9. Annette – agree about dogs, if you think all animals always forgive you you should meet my cat….But then, he is a boy cat!!

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