1.The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you may have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re always ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
8. Dogs like to go fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. You can even sell one or two if you want to.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
13. A fun day out for a dog is a day in a field chasing a ball, every day.
14. Dogs are ready to go out after a quick scratch and a shake and do not need to check themselves 7 times in the mirror to see how they look.
And last, but not least:
15. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff, scratch you car bodywork or cut up most of your clothes.
If you really want to know who loves you more, put your wife & your dog in the boot of the car for ½ an hour and see who’s happy to see you when you let ‘em out!
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OOhhh, that’s a bit cruel at the end, ain’t it?
I know what you mean though about dogs, or any animals for that matter, they will forgive you anything.
They don’t even think about it.
oooeeer,i hope this post isnt a personal reflexion on you “season of goodwill”family xmas.
oops cant spell now either,
I dare you to eat a dog’s breakfast, though.
16. A dog will always be enthusiastic about licking tiramisu off your scrotum…
17. If you give a dog proper instructions, it will do as it’s told.
I emailed the above to the wife her reply was:
Men v. Dogs
1. Dogs are tireless in their efforts to please.
2. Dogs are more than happy to lick their own dicks – no suggestion anyone else has to do it?
3. Dogs are happy to eat the same easy to prepare meals 7 days a week – no cooking, no washing up.
4.Dogs don’t lie on the sofa and demand cups of coffee all night.
5. Dogs don’t seem proud of their smelly dumps and farts, nor do they describe them in great detail.
6. Dogs are always in a GOOD MOOD.
7. If you really want to know who loves you more, put your bloke & your dog outside a clothes shop while you spend 2 hours blowing all the housekeeping on fab new outfits and flowery wellies and see who’s happy to see you when you’re finished!
My reply to her was…
Love you xxx
Annette – agree about dogs, if you think all animals always forgive you you should meet my cat….But then, he is a boy cat!!