• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

In the Red corner.

Like so many other people I was surprised when the hews headlines informed me that Police had arrested MP Damian Green on suspicion of “conspiring to commit misconduct in a public office, and aiding and abetting counselling or procuring misconduct in a public office.”

Shadow Immigration Minister Damian Green received a visit at his constituency home from no less than 9 counter-terrorism at his London home, frightening his 15-year-old daughter and wife  who were there. He was held at Belgravia police station for nine hours, only one of which was used to question him about his alleged crime – leaking information embarrassing to the Home Office.

So when alerted by Home Office whistle-blowers of the Home Secretary Jacqui Smith’s involvement in covering up 5,000 illegal immigrants employed as security guards, and of a memo showing that an illegal immigrant was able to work as a cleaner in the Commons using a fake ID, he spoke out, allegedly.

I suppose that the leading Labour ministers will deny any knowledge and claim that it was the ongoing Police investigation that is responsible.

Exactly to what scale was the Home Secretary Jacqui Smith involved in the decision to arrest Damian Green and what was the offence heinous enough to warrant his arrest ?   In fact, what does any Labour cabinet minister or MP know about this ?

Brown claims not to have known  presumably according to the un-named Downing Street spokesperson. I suppose that the speaker of the house also knew nothing. “I had no prior knowledge, the home secretary had no prior knowledge, I know of no other minister who had any prior knowledge,” he told Sky News, adding: “I knew about it only after it had happened.”

Someone will have a bitter taste left in their mouth after this. I suspect that the last bus will not be stopping at denial central as the claims of ignorance are made.

Politicians leaking information ?   Who ever would think such a thing.

There will be questions in the house about this I’m sure.  And there I was thinking that they were working together for the good of the public.

We didn’t receive any messages, and Captain BlackAdder definately did not shoot this delicious, plump-breasted pigeon…………..as they say.

Quantum of Solace ?

The word comes from the Latin “quantus,” for “how much.”

The  word comes from the Latin “solacium” for  “consolation.”

Apparently.

How much did you say that was ?

So how much consolation did I have after paying about £7 each to watch the film, plus the extras for the popcorn and tubs of sweeties to munch on through the film ?

You need a second mortgage to see the flicks with your family nowadays.

A bit like a Tarantino film more than the usual James Bond offering but still good none the less.

I’m sure the DVD from Santa would be better value. The choice of seats would be far more comfortable as well and there would be no queue for the bogs.

War on drugs

The war on drugs is truly underway. From the poppy fields of Afghanistan to the cannabis factories in Shieldaig in the Highlands of Scotland, drugs barons are not safe.

We will hunt you down, there is no hiding place. We will find you. Today, tomorrow, tomato.

LuLu Matheson

Don’t know much about the reclassification of cannabis but I wonder what tomatoes lulu was growing.

Oops……..this appears to have been a bit of a clusterfu*#………

Making our communities safer, with you and for you etc etc etc……….

Fleet dreams.

The management at the CTCC appear to have come up trumps this time with the decision to reduce the vehicle fleet in the name of saving money. We are integrating the approach to efficiency and building a culture of making the most effective use of our resources, apparently.

No district cars, no dog vans, no patrol group vans this time. It is the luxury fleet, destined for the corporate top brass, the SMT and the admin support equivalent of regional directors that have to drop one foot into reality and travel to their meetings in the car the rest of us have to use. I understand that the director of finance is not best pleased as there are perks that reflect the status of the role.

The gas guzzling expensive limos are going and being replaced with small and economical saloons that exist within the fleet surplus.

Lets hope they don’t forget to put the keys back on the hook when they go home.

Cage Rage Crackdown.

At the CTCC the powers that be are having yet another crackdown.

The movers and shakers in search of their next positive headline to show the community how they are making the place be safe and feel safer are launching another crackdown on violent crime.

We have had various crackdowns before.

I dare say that there will be a catchy slogan or mission statement that will lull people into thinking that there are serious efforts underway to resolve a particular issue.

We will be out hunting for those who flaunt whatever is the target of the latest crackdown. In fact, we will be working harder than ever to try our best to crackdown on the selected crackdown target. We will be working with our partners to do whatever this is.

In reality there will something a little different.

There will be photo opportunities for the senior ranks, local government officials and a smattering of PCSO’s to hit the media.

There will be no additional resources to support the crackdown initiative we are apparently investing our resources in. No overtime because we have not got any money because the bean counters have seen fit to ‘invest’ in Icelandic banks and now have budget shortfalls because of their sound and prudent financial decision making processes. I am still at a loss to understand how we were able to ‘invest’ in foreign banks when we are ALWAYS subject to budget constraints. So shifts will be changed and a positive spin put on the whole thing as a way of promoting the corporate aims and the strategic objectives requiring implementation of the tactical plan for the said subject of the crackdown.

Topping the bill in the CTCC octagon this week will be the SMT raiders against the response tag team. As is the norm, the raiders will be setting policy in the blue corner, triumphantly making the rules of engagement and promoting the whole event with the usual accompaniment of positive words and smiley faces. Some of them might even have their hats on. They heavyweight support training from Government dirty moves and policy instructors. There is talk of incentives to reward a positive performance.

In opposition, the response teams in the red corner, will have the normal handicap of one arm tied behind their backs before they start and be vastly outnumbered by the raiders, who will have the well rested and motivational stars and crowns brothers making noises about working together and lawful orders pin downs.

The response tag team, although rattling the sabres of insufficient numbers and existing workload in their team face almost certain submission by the famed management choke hold manoeuvre that always comes when they are least able to defend against it. Even with some enthusiastic heavyweight recruits by way of support from some of the response Inspectors and Sergeants, sources reveal that treachery and failing to support the corporate plan tactics might be used as a way of limiting the success of these useful additions to the tag team’s chances. If all else fails, the monitoring and obtaining statistics for submission before the next tactical meeting will keep the Inspectors and Sergeants busy enough to be otherwise occupied and of no use to the response tag team.

With the management already having the benefit of three rounds of weekly meetings the raiders are clear favourites to defend their crackdown title.

SMT raiders are overwhelming favourites to defend their crackdown title against the response tag team. The only doubt is how overwhelming their victory is likely to be.

Will it be the arm behind your back bar or the management choke out submission ?

You decide.

Bob Schofield.

bobschofieldRoyal Navy veteran Bob Schofield, 89 years, was beaten up by burglars after returning home from a Remembrance Day service. What type of resistance did an 89 year old man put up to justify the result in the picture ?

What type of scum would do this ?

How will the scum justify their actions ?

How can they sleep at night ?

They won’t have to justify anything. The law will protect them. They have rights. They will know these rights.

Who will protect the rights of Bob Schofield and those like him ?

Irritable bowel.

Tracey Crompton has never had a job, and her husband Harry has been out of work for 15 years.

Yet the couple live for free in a seven bedroom house with their ten children and receive £32,656 in benefits a year.

Firstly, they want even more benefits.

Secondly, that their neighbours have nicknamed them ‘Britain’s Biggest Freeloaders’.

Mrs Crompton, 40, moaned: ‘I’m not satisfied with the benefits we get  -  I want more. I haven’t been able to work because I’ve had to bring up the kids and Harry’s got health problems.’

As both are unemployed, their weekly £120 rent is paid by housing benefit and they receive another £628 a week in income support, disability and carer’s allowance and other payments. Mr Crompton, 50, says he is unable to work due to angina and irritable bowel syndrome.

Angina doesn’t stop him popping out offspring.

I have a bit of an irritable bowel just thinking how my hard earned tax taken from me on false promises help sustain a lifestyle like this.

Some of us have the amount of kids we can afford whilst others simply take the piss big time.

Tax disc holder

There is a new and popular tax disc holder.

taxholder

Someone has to finish last.

As a result of the regional bean counters meetings there are numerous fiscal policies being put into place the the CTCC. Those concerning the canine support are worrying in so much as the expert auditors eye has been cast over canine goings on and decided that there are efficiency savings to be had. This filters through to the big decision makers and influences their policy decisions.

The boss at kennel HQ has had some of the suggestions cascaded down and in true follow the leader tradition has accepted that the organisation brand needs to be promoted at all costs. Like the customer, the management is always right. We might even get dogs in kennels taken home to reduce costs. I just hope that no one gets bitten as a result.

The perception of better use of resources varies depending on your perspective. The accountants and bean counters appear to have far more powers of persuasion than you might think, certainly over all things connected with money, budgets and finance.

If you are a dog handler and you are spending your time training your dog, responding to district requests for specialist support or directing your patrol towards problems that occur on your area of cover you will not have much spare time to go around. Add into this the myriad of statistical dross you will have to submit to support the role of the bean counters and the desk-bound managers who allocate extra workload of their choosing and it is a wonder there is any spare time at all within your working day. You will still have to either email or ring up the latest and trendiest bulletin cache to ensure that the station cat is aware of your latest effort to promote the brand and support the really big plan. You will have the knowledge that you have enhanced the career prospects of the privileged few and when they move on, as they invariably do, the demands of the replacement will change and add a further burden to add to those of their predecessor.

If you are a manager or one of those who check up to see if your latest commandment is being followed to the letter you will be able to access all the relevant information from the comfort of that nice chair behind the computer on your desk. The claimed reduction in red tape and reduction in targets does not mean that the necessity to submit less will actually materialise. Nor will the perception of performance will be anything less than a league table where those at the bottom will be seen to be under performing.

Someone has to be bottom of the pile.

It does not mean that they are lazy or incompetent.

It will have an effect on their moral and motivation.

They will, in all probability, be trying hard to do the job they want to do and to get a result.

That result for them might not be the same as the result that someone else wants.

Five a day reintigration.

A prisoner branded ‘a grave risk to the public’ by a judge was on the run last night after giving guards the slip on a day trip to the supermarket.

Dangerous Stephen Edwards, 44, was browsing the fruit and veg aisle at an Aldi store in Manchester city centre when he escaped on Wednesday.

His disappearance remained a secret from the public for almost 24 hours before police put out a public appeal. Edwards, who is an inmate at Risley prison in Cheshire, was allowed out of jail on an ‘escorted visit’ to help him ‘reintegrate him into society’ and disappeared at 1.45pm.

A nationwide manhunt has been launched for Edwards who was jailed for life in 2001 for stabbing his sister-in-law Julie Tuck up to 31 times and keeping his estranged second wife Anita hostage in a five-hour gun siege at their home in Chippenham, Wiltshire.

At the time, the trial judge Mr Justice Owen, told Edwards he was imposing a minimum ten years in jail before he could be considered for parole.

He told Edwards: ‘The attacks have had a devastating effect on your victims. Their lives have been shattered by what you did to them.

‘It is clear to me that you are a very dangerous man. You present a grave risk to the public and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.’

Greater Manchester Police said officers had since been working closely with the prison service whilst searching the immediate and surrounding areas, and contacted police forces where he is known to have friends and family. They said: ‘Whilst Stephen is a low category prisoner who was being reintegrated into the community, I cannot discount the fact that he was serving a life sentence and therefore could still pose a risk to members of the public.

Life, means perhaps ten years, means able to go out shopping. After all he is sure to have his rights. Who is he likely to injure next ?

You couldn’t make it up.

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