• What You Measure is What You Get.

    Einstein : Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted.
  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.
  • Opinions

    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.
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  • C.T.C. Constabulary.

    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.
  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius
  • Just so.

    Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
  • Reality.

    Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
  • Rank V’s Responsibility

    Don't confuse your idea of how important you are with the responsibility of your role.
  • Meetings.

    If you had to identify, in one word, why we will never achieve our full potential, Meetings would be that word.
  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

Budget deficit

The CTCC have announced a budget deficit as part of their spending revue into the various budgets that circulate within the organisation. The fuel spending has increased by well over 18% of the forecast based on the budget forecast of the preceding financial period.

People who live in the real world know that inflation is definitely not currently running at 3%.

The huge increase in fuel costs mean that the Constabulary has decided to switch to cycles as the new mode of transport. The vast fuel budgetary saving mean that a fleet of response tandems will be rolled out across the Constabulary to maintain a double crewed response facility. These will be fitted with bells so the public will be aware in case of emergency high response journeys are undertaken.

An anonymous Police source stated that a number of converted rickshaws were on order from an Eastern base supplier and these were adapted to deal with violent or uncooperative prisoners as well give a high profile presence in the efforts to make the public feel safe and raise confidence. Some of these will have cages fitted to allow for a highly mobile and effective Police Dog presence as a valuable support response to front line officers. 

Specially adapted tandems equipped with saddle bags and panniers will allow for a continued armed response capability. We understand that unlike the normal single crewed response cycle having only 3 gears, the Traffic and Firearms response will be fitted with 21 gears and proper shock suspension units. Electric powered cycles are rumoured to be secretly patrolling the high risk areas with tasers constantly charging.

Supervisory cycles are to be fitted with hooters and carry a drinks bottle on the frame. Some will be fitted with an adapted front frame carrier where first aid kits could be carried.

The Constabulary has released a statement in which it confirms its commitment to green patrols and has assured transparency in reallocating the budget savings. We understand that all cycles will be fitted with pumps and a puncture repair kit. Lighting kits will be available with a flashing blue attachment.

Following on from the Smoking ban imposed last year, the redundant smoking shelters are to be converted into bike sheds accommodate all the extra cycles.

There will be a series of weekly strategic response cycling policy monitoring working group meetings to evaluate the new response system and to fight over where the budget savings are best used.

4 Responses

  1. OFF TOPIC:
    I draw attention to fraudulent postings on coppersblog by the author(s). A presently unknown proportion of postings are neither submitted by, or otherwise emanate from, serving police and members of the public. Inventions placed on the blog by the author(s) may be falsely credited to a specific sender. Alternatively, a genuine sender may find his/her views distorted or totally substituted by the blog author(s).

    Citizens of the UK must never countenance dishonesty in police officers. Any reader with experience or personal knowledge of fabricated reports on the blog should email melvin.grayconcern4justice@btinternet.com

  2. Dr Melvin, I think you could easily substitute Police for politicians and get far more support for your bandwagon. If you have something useful or even humerous to say then say it, otherwise take your own form of ‘off topic’ stuff and create your own blog to voice it. If you have a problem with copperfield your direction is there, not here.

  3. Web: OFF TOPIC:
    This has been repeated on de-tec-tive blog site as well.
    Do you understand it?
    I must admit I don’t.

  4. cycles are great in extremely built up and congested cities with less than a mile or so travel to calls but anything more than that and you’re too shagged to deal with anything at the other end, expecially working shifts where your body is knackered anyway!!!

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