• What You Measure is What You Get.

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  • About me.

    I know enough to know that at 04.00am it gets dark out on the streets. It has done this for the last twenty odd years, to my knowledge and will probably continue for the forseeable future. At some stage in this ‘future’ I shall retire and probably won’t give a damn if it still gets dark at 04.00am. Until then I shall be out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows because someone, somewhere will be doing stuff they shouldn’t and then, well then I will introduce myself. In the meanwhile I shall try to remain sane and remember why I joined in the first place and try to ignore all the people who piss me off by making the job more complicated than it should be.

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    Any opinions contained in posts are mine and mine alone. Many of them will not be those of any Police Force, Police Organisation or Police Service around this country. The opinions are based on many years of working within the field of practical operational Police work and reflect the desire to do things with the minimum of interference by way of duplication for the benefit of others who themselves do not do the same job. I recognise that we all perform a wide range of roles and this is essential to make the system work. If you don’t like what you see remember you are only one click on the mouse away from leaving. I accept no responsibility for the comments left by others.

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    A Strategic Community Diversity Partnership. We are cutting bureaucracy and reducing the recording of target and monitoring related statistics. Our senior leaders will drive small, economical cars from our fleet surplus to save money to invest in better equipment for our frontline response officers. We are investing money to reinstate station canteens for the benefits of those 24/7 response officers. We have a pursuit policy. The message is that if you commit an offence and use a vehicle, we will follow you and stop you if necessary. It is your duty to stop when the lights and sirens are on. We take account of the findings of the Force questionnaire and are reducing the administration and management levels and returning these officers to frontline response duties. We insist on a work-life balance. We have no political masters. We are implimenting selection processes that take account of an individuals skills and proven abilities for the job. Our senior leaders will have one foot in reality and still possess the operational Policing skills they have long forgotton about and seldom used. All ranks are Police Officers first and specialists second. We will impliment career development and performance evaluation monitoring of our leaders by those officers who operate under that leadership. The most important role is that of Constable. All other roles are there to positively support the role and the responsibility of Constable and the duties performed.

  • Whichendbites

    “We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising. It can be a wonderful method of creating the illusion of progress while creating confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”......Petronius

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  • There is always a bigger picture.

    When there is no answer to your problem, there is always deflection from the need to justify giving an answer.

Bad day at work

Posted on November 20, 2007 by whichendbites

When you have an “I Hate My Job” day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the Thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.Be very sure you get this brand.  When you get home, lock your doors, Draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be Disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing, get yourself a drink and sit in your favorite chair.

Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.  Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

“Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson Is personally tested”.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,

“I am so GLAD I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.”

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS.

Have a nice day!

“Life is a gift, not a threat.”

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7 Responses

  1. Chrysalis Angel, on November 20, 2007 at 11:54 pm said:

    Lol! I was wondering to myself if I reaaalllly wanted to keep reading after the drapes were being drawn. Too funny. I don’t know about you, but I needed that laugh.

  2. annette, on November 21, 2007 at 5:01 pm said:

    I’m glad I don’t work for them as well.
    I have had a bad day as well, but I won’t be getting one of those!!!
    A glass of wine with do the trick, thankyou.

  3. alicethearchitect, on November 21, 2007 at 7:40 pm said:

    Cheers – that really made me laugh!

  4. Noddy, on November 21, 2007 at 10:34 pm said:

    There’s a bloke called Steve McLaren who might disagree with you!

  5. Big Fella, on November 21, 2007 at 10:43 pm said:

    Croatia 3 – McLaren P45!!

    I just had an email go through work with pictures of crap jobs one of which was a female picking up elephant droppings and a male rubbing a killer whales penis – nice!!!

  6. Noddy, on November 21, 2007 at 11:42 pm said:

    Cracking comment on my latest post from my brother on someone who also had a bad day….”Never mind they’ve found the “junior” official from HMCR, he was found at Wembley playing in goal for England. Claimed he had got lost in the post.”

  7. TotallyUn-PC, on November 22, 2007 at 12:35 pm said:

    I just realised It was a joke… there I was with my feet on the edge of the armchair…. then….the penny dropped… still My core temperature is apparently spot on!!!!

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